One of the hardest things about this current situation is to have people say horrible things about me. An overwhelming number of things are being said lately, and I hope with all of my heart that I've lived a decent enough life for those who know and care about me to be able to ignore the lies they hear about me and my behavior as of late.
If any of you have heard any of these things, please know that they most likely aren't true. I am by no means perfect, and have messed up throughout my life, but none of my mess ups are the real reason I am getting divorced, unless you count marrying someone when it was very very not right.
On a similar note, I would also like to acknowledge that I acted differently when married. I let him walk all over a lot of friendships, and scare people I cared about away, and I didn't do anything to stop him. What does one do? Pick friends or spouse? It's confusing, and hard to figure out.
If I have ever in the past hurt anyone, especially by standing by while he was rude to you, please know that I am sorry. I am doing my best to restore all former friendships, because that is what life is about. Loving those around you, being there for anyone and everyone, giving all you can give, no matter how large or small it may seem at the time.
I love to love. I may not love large groups of people, and I may not always love surprise visitors at my house when I'm not expecting them, but I do love humans individually. So many of them, of us, are so good. There is good all around us, in so many different forms. I have seen so many kind, loving acts in my life, especially lately, and my heart soars to know so many good people. People with stories, secrets, and quirks that make them unique and able to offer good to the world. I love that. I love knowing that if those around me all are able to put good out into the world, I can too. We all have a purpose, hopefully we are able to discover it and preform to the best of our abilities. I'm sure we, as humans, will succeed.
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