Being a Safe Place

Two posts in one day? I know, I know, bear with me. I had a thought and needed to write it down.

During the past few years, when things got really bad, I reached out to a few different people, in hopes that I could get some support/advice/encouraging words/anything at all to help me know how to deal with the difficulties I was facing in my marriage. Some people shrugged, some ignored me, and some told me that talking about the difficulties I was experiencing was out of line, because marriage is between a husband and a wife, no one else.

While I absolutely agree that problems should be worked through by the spouses themselves, sometimes, like in my case, that is not an option.

It's hard to know what to do when someone reaches out to you. How do you know if it is serious or if you need to just hold back and stay out of the way? I definitely don't have the answer, but I do have a plea, even if calling it that sounds a bit too dramatic.

If someone is having a hard time, don't condemn them for reaching out to you. Don't ignore them. If they are coming to you, chances are it's because they respect you/look up to you, and feel as though you may be able to offer help. Handle the situation with care, but also handle it with love and support. You are needed.

Telling them that they are being inappropriate for discussing their problems will only make it harder for them in the future, which is not how anybody should feel. Everyone needs a safe place. If the safe place is not their home, they need one elsewhere.

Maybe it wasn't fair of me to put people on the spot, bringing my issues into their lives, but I didn't know what else to do, and I know without a doubt that I'm not the only person who has been there. I know that from now on, if someone comes to me in need, scared, hurt, or anxious about their situation, I will do my best to react appropriately and be there for them, as much as I can be without interfering past what is acceptable. Everyone needs someone on their team, rooting for them when things get stormy.

I want to be a safe place for others. Does that make sense? I had/have so many wonderful friends who let me ramble, chatter, and vent whenever I need to, and that has made all the difference. I am blessed beyond belief and only hope that I can do the same for others. Hear that, friends? I'm here for you, whenever you may need me, because I have hope that in my times of need, you will be there for me too.

Side note: I wrote this hastily, and in a slightly post-nap stupor, so I apologize for any unfinished thoughts or nonsense that may have found it's way into the post.